Not What it Looks Like

The image you see below is not actually a real motorcycle.
In fact, it's not even a plastic toy.
It's made of paper. That's right, it's origami. You can find complete instructions on Yamaha's website for putting it together. I'm going to give it a shot.
There are also several other bikes you can assemble, with or without color. Incidentally, they have other origami downloads as well, like rare animals, and seasonal decorations.
Let me know what you think!

There's Got to be Some Truth to This

There's an old saying that pets look like their owners.
I'm hoping that the opposite is true.
I put my cat on a diet.
When he's done with it, I expect to have lost about 30 pounds.

My name is Dale, and I'm a Gamer

As I've grown older (not old yet, darnit!), I've slacked off quite a bit on the role-playing games. I still love 'em, but there are million and one other things to do now, like take care of my family, pay the bills, play with the dogs, pay the bills, chores, pay the bills...

You get the idea, right?

I used to be a big time gamer. Not so much D&D as other games like Shadowrun, DragonQuest, and various others. Every once in a while, I kick off the shoes and have a little fun cruising down memory lane, battleaxe in hand.

This weekend will be one of those weekends. I've spent hours detailing a campaign for some friends (and my wife, who doesn't know yet that this is happening. She thinks we're doing spring cleaning! urghh!) There will be pizza, drinks, cookie dough (a rpg favorite among my friends, carried over from my college days), and a surprise goodie, which I shouldn't mention here, because my wife does actually read my blog sometimes.

For my recent birthday, my friends D&S gave me a gift card for Hobbytown, and it was loaded with possibilities! I told them that I'd take that as a hint, and the subsequent weekend was spent picking out just the right accessories to add to my D&D library.

Here's what I picked up:

• Eberron Campaign Setting
• Races of Eberron
• Stronghold Builder's Guidebook

I also grabbed two more sets of dice, because you can never have enough. One set I gave to Abhijit, who has never played before. He's excited, because until a few weeks ago, he'd never heard of D&D. Now it looks like he's going to shed those timid Indian ways and become a barbarian for a day.

My wife gave me the Expanded Psionics Handbook. I added this also to my collection, which included the following:

• Dungeon Master's Guide
• Player's Handbook
• Monster Manual
• Draconomicon
• Unearthed Arcana

It's going to be a weekend to remember.

Last Night's Phone Conversation at 1:45 AM

Me: Nnnn....Hello?

Caller: Is this Dale?

Me: Yes.

Caller: How's it going?

Me: Fine... Who is this?

Caller: Uh. Crystal.

Me: Uh huh. Crystal who?

Caller: Jones.

Me: You sure you have the right Dale?

Caller: Are you Dale Allen?

Me: Yes.

Caller: Want to meet me somewhere tonight?

Me: Ha ha! No.

Caller: @#$! you then! (click)

I'll probably find that my tires have been slashed or something now. I hate midnight prank calls.

XZibit, MTV, Are You Listening?

I'm at my wits end about this stupid car I drive. So much so, that I've decided to give the guys at Pimp My Ride a shout-out. I admit, I've watched this show more than twice, and I like what they do! You should have seen what they did to this surfer dude's VW bus!
I wrote them an email detailing what's wrong with my car, and even though my car isn't in as bad shape as a lot of the cars they've had on their show, it's the need of the driver that matters most, right?
Unfortunately, their mailbox was full, and my email was returned. What's a blogger to do? What else? Blog about it, and hope the guys over on the West Coast see it! So I'm gonna post my email here, with the pic of the SuperWoo. They'll have to forgive my not posting my snail mail address and phone number. They can contact me via email to get it (and I know their email, so no pretenders, capiche?). If any of you bloggers know Xzibit and his crew, please pass the word along, k?

So without further ado, here's the email I sent but didn't send:

Name: Dale Allen
Age: 34
email: biognome(at)cablelynx(dot)com

Xzibit, everyone,

You guys are insane! You've got to come to Vicksburg, Mississippi and Pimp My Ride! I've got a 2000 model Daewoo Lanos. My wife and I bought it used in 2002 to save a buck or two, but things didn't work out that way. In three months, the air conditioner bit the dust. A month after that, Daewoo decleared bankruptcy. Instant drop in equity! Now parts cost 2-3 times as much. Fixing the air conditioner would cost more than the car is worth! Know what it's like to drive an unairconditioned car in the deep South in the summertime? My wife drove it for a while, while I drove an Xterra. I sold the Xterra to get her a better car. Now I'm stuck with the Daewoo. The passenger side door won't even open! The radio doesn't work, because we don't have the code to get it playing. Once, I was bringing my dogs back from the lake, and one of them took a crap in it, and I didn't even notice until I got home! It's also missing both the front hubcaps, because every time I hit a bump, I lose one! I've got to keep the car, because my wife is planning to go back to school in a year, and we can't afford to repair or replace the SuperWoo. This means I've got to drive it for at least four more years. Every extra cent we earn right now is going towards paying down bills or sending her back to
school.

p.s. It's green. Help me! You're my only hope!

Dale Allen

A Question for You Business-Themed Bloggers

It's 12:45 in the morning, and I've just woken up after four hours of migraine-sponsored sleep. It's funny the things you dream up when you're sleeping. Here's a question I have for those of you entrepreneurial bloggers who are in the know:

If you've got AdSense ads on your blog page, then you're blogging to make money. Can you write off equipment, software, or template designs on your taxes?

I think I could do this anyway, because I'm in a computer field, but I'm just curious.

In a Blaze of Glory

Yesterday I posted about one of my favorite subjects: comic book movie adaptations, namely Superman.
Today I will continue in the same theme, but with a character that's a bit grittier.

Ghost Rider!

The movie, starring Nicolas Cage, Wes Bentley, Eva Mendes, Matt Long, Sam Elliott, Peter Fonda, and Donal Logue, is scheduled to premier August 4, 2006. With X-Men 3, Superman Returns, and Ghost Rider, it looks as though next summer is going to be good for superheroes.

Here are a couple teaser pics. First, Johnny Blaze's motorcycle, and secondly, Nic himself, looking gaunt and dangerous.

The Big Yellow Cheese Returns in 2006

I don't know why Superman has been called The Big Yellow Cheese, but I've read this in the comics a few times, where people who know him call him this.
Comic books have fascinated me for years. All publishers and superheroes of all types: Spidey, Batman, Spawn, Aquaman, Ghost Rider, Hulk, Captain Marvel (the Big Red Cheese), The Atom, The Flash, Starman, Magnus. The list goes on and on. If they wear tights, chains, or electronics, and have super cool powers or gadgets, then I'm interested in their story.



If you love comics like I love comics, then most likely you're eagerly anticipating the next installment of Superman, which, strangely, is a semi-sequel to the first two Superman movies. If you can't wait until 2006 to get some Superman action (no pun intended--you Action Comics readers will get it right off the bat), then you can check out bluetights.net, where director Bryan Singer is keeping a very interesting behind-the-scenes video blog of his work. And here's a nifty extra: he spends time on the set of King Kong, helping out a very fatigued Peter Jackson (Lord of the Rings). Superman Returns is scheduled to be released the summer of 2006.

BIG Decision to Make

Two years ago I completed ten years of duty in the Mississippi Army National Guard. I hated being in the military. Don't get me wrong; I believe that being in the military should be compulsory for everyone, for at least one year of duty. It truly is a learning experience, and it will make just about anyone grow up. It changed my life.

But I had done ten years, and I felt that was enough for me. If I stayed in even one more year, I felt that I might as well do twenty. No way. Uh uh. Nope. No sir!
Now my two years of inactive reserve status are coming to a close. For those of you who don't know what that is, that's the period of time you can still be called to action in a pinch. With all that's been going on in the Mid-East, I've been holding my breath these last two years. I'm finally starting to breathe easy.

Yesterday I received a call--at work--from a retention officer in St. Louis, Missouri, who wanted to know if I would be interested in re-enlisting and being attached to another unit in Mississippi. I'm a polite person, so I didn't laugh in his ear, and I told him that I was not interested. By the way, this is the third call I've received from these people. I've also received numerous letters which have found their way to the recycling bin.

He then asked me if I knew there was a signing bonus for my particular MOS (Military Occupation Speciality--your job in the military). I said yes, although I didn't know what the exact amount was. He then proceeded to tell me.

Long pause.

Hmm.

I'm going to have to think about this. I told him I'd think about it. Fine, he says. He'll call me back Monday. Monday? Wow. That's not much time to make this decision.

Actually, this has opened up a keg of questions. First of all, do I want to be back in the Guard that badly. Well, I already know the answer to that one. It's a resounding "#@!$ no!"
Second, if I'm going to go back into the Guard, why do it as an enlisted man? I've got a degree now. I can go to OCS and become an officer. Of course, there's probably no signing bonus, but you make a lot more for one weekend of duty. Third, what if go back in as enlisted after all, and don't want to be an administrative specialist anymore? Can I go back in, get the training in a different MOS, and get a bigger signing bonus? Next, I've been thinking about going back to school anyway, to train for a new career. Why not train in the Army?

Of course, my wife is all for it. That would go a long way to getting us out of debt, she said. Don't I know it, but in three years we'll have all the credit cards paid off anyway.

Six years is a long time to be unhappy, but I've done it before. I don't think I'll have made this decision by Monday. I still have too many questions.

Knights of the Old Republic II Made Me Cheat!

I'm playing KOTOR2 right now. Yes, I know I haven't updated the link in the left column that says I'm still playing Guild Wars. When I finish KOTOR2, I'll go back to it, so don't worry yourself too much over it, 'k?
I was trying to complete the game without cheating. Cheating in KOTOR and KOTOR2 makes your gamesave thumbnail become emblazoned with the word "CHEATED." I was doing very well, too.
Until I got to a planet named Nar Shaddaa, that is.
Nar Shaddaa is affectionately known as "The Smuggler's Moon" by those who visit the smelly, noisy, Hutt-run hive of villainy. At one point, you're required to track down Visquis, an alien who's hiding out in an alien bar. The problem is that humans can't go in there, due to poisonous air. With a little help from Kreia, the mysterious old woman who won't tell you whether she's a Sith or a Jedi, you learn the Force power Breath Control, which allows you to survive by using trace amounts of oxygen in your lungs. After this, all you have to do is kill all the baddies in the bar and get to Visquis.
Herein lies my problem. Due to some glitch in the software, my character, although he is using his newfound power, finds himself paralyzed when he enters the bar. He seems to be okay for the first second or two. After that, he just won't move. I have contacted LucasArts tech support twice, and both times they suggested things that did not work.
Finally, I gave up. What was the purpose of trying to fix this, I thought, when all I have to do is use the 'warp' cheat? Fortunately, by using this cheat, warping to the next section did not kill my game. I think I lost perhaps 30 seconds of good game time. I won't cry over it, except now my game save screen cap has a big "CHEATED" sign emblazoned across it.

EDIT: My apologies. The screen shot actually says, "CHEAT USED," not "CHEATED."

Good Clean Fun

Just in case you've been living in a cave, summer is here, and things are heating up outside. Why not plan a neighborhood watergun fight? The other day, my friend and I went to Jackson and cleaned out everyone's stock of Super Soaker CPS 4100's. He bought 15 in all. I was there to help muscle them into his Jeep. A few days later, he traveled to Illinois, where he bought a stash of CPS 2100's.
We stacked up the guns in his living room, which we have affectionately dubbed, "The Arsenal."
Want one? Visit his eBay auctions to check 'em out. Just click the pic.



You should have seen the Soakers he was selling last year: Monster XL--the biggest watergun on the entire planet! Too bad they're discontinued.

Should a child witness childbirth?

Due to a power outage, only one paramedic responded to the call. The house was very, very dark, so the paramedic asked Katelyn, a 4-year-old girl, to hold a flashlight high over her mommy so he could see while he helped deliver the baby.

Very diligently, Katelyn did as she was asked. Heidi pushed and pushed, and after a little while, Connor was born. The paramedic lifted him by his little feet and spanked him on his bottom. Connor began to cry.

The paramedic then thanked Katelyn for her help and asked the wide-eyed 4-year old what she thought about what she had just witnessed.

Katelyn quickly responded, "He shouldn't have crawled in there in the first place, smack his ass again!"

Batman Begins

Last night I was transported to Gotham City by Director Christopher Nolan's Batman Begins. For two and a half hours I "oohed" and "ahhed" over the Bat's gadgetry, his character flaws (yes! Finally they did it right!), and the nicely assembled cast of actors. I would have gladly stayed for two and a half more hours, but alas, the lights came up, the credits rolled, and it was time to go home.
I was unsure as to why Katie Holmes' character, Rachael Dawes, was to be included in the portrayal of the origins of the Batman, but the writers tied her in well, and she wasn't bad to look at, either.
With plenty of hinting at a sequel, I suspect Warner Brothers will get their wish, so long as Christian Bale is willing to participate. He is quoted as saying, "It's hot, dark and sweaty and it gives me a headache." Hopefully, with his take of the box office, he'll be able to forgive the suit its tight quarters and play the Dark Knight again.
I found this was a movie I could believe in. Unlike the first four Batman movies, you can believe everything in this movie could happen.
As soon as it hits stores, this movie will grace my DVD collection in a place of honor.

Matrix Ping Pong

The first time I saw this video, I felt that it was absolutely amazing. Now, a year or two after I'd first seen, I still find it to be entertaining. These guys have true talent!

Just a Reminder

Okay, folks. It's been a long while since I brought this up, but it's for your own good.
And mine, of course.
I'm still trying to get the free iPod. Lots of people have signed up, but only one (ONE!) has completed an offer. I need four more offers to get my iPod.
Normally I wouldn't sign up for something like this, but I know for a fact that this whole free iPod deal is legitimate.
And who doesn't need another credit card, anyway? Besides, you're allowed to cancel the offer you sign up for. I signed up for BlockBuster Online, and cancelled after a month (although I actually wanted to keep the service).
I'm actually kind of flabbergasted that nobody wants to complete one of these simple offers in return for a $300 piece of tech!
Sign up!

Liz vs. LSAT, Liz (1), LSAT (0)

Liz took her LSAT (Law School Admissions Test) yesterday. She's been preparing for it for about six months now. She'll start school next summer, although she hasn't picked one out yet. She's thinking of four so far:

Lousisiana State University
University of Mississippi
Mississippi College
Samford University in Alabama

Up until last night, she'd put LSU out of her mind, since they were on the Napoleonic system, which is completely different from the other 49 states. If you studied at LSU, you had to practice law in Louisiana, which limits your options, of course.

Our friend Sue told us, however, that Louisiana has changed, and is now just like all the other states. Liz now has her heart set on LSU. She would be back on familiar ground, as that's where she earned her paralegal certification.

Liz feels that she did "okay" on the exam, which means that she passed it with flying colors. Now she will begin applying to schools.

Geaux, Liz!

KOTOR2

It took me long enough, but I finally scrimped up enough spare change to buy a copy of Star Wars Knights of the Old Republic 2: The Sith Lords.

After having troubles with the installation, I finally got my act together and began playing this morning before work.

I wanted to call in sick real bad, but I overcame my wants. It'll still be there when I get back.

In the beginning sequence, your character is aboard the Ebon Hawk, the Millennium Falcon-like vessel that featured in SW:KOTOR1. Its hyperdrive is damaged, and the ship is drifting dangerously through an asteroid field. To top it off, your character is unconscious and dying. The only thing that can save you is your little droid, T3-M4, the same droid you may remember from the prequel.

I'm looking forward to delving into this fascinating RPG. As before, the graphics and effects are stunning. If the story is as good as it was in KOTOR1, I'm in for a real treat.

Guild Wars

I've been playing Guild Wars for about a week now. I will probably continue playing it too. It's got two distinct advantages over most MMORPG's:

1) No monthly fees. Once you buy the game, you can play online forever without paying another cent.
2) You can group, but you don't have to do it with real people. You can hire henchmen NPC's that will follow you around and help you kill stuff.

One thing I don't like: The maps don't give you a lot of choices. You have paths you must follow. Although they branch off from time to time, allowing you to make a decision as to where you want to go, you're still stuck on the paths. It's not quite like the other RPG's, such as Everquest I/II, or Star Wars Galaxies, where you go wherever the heck you want to.

Still though, no monthly fees, and I like that.

I Kid You Not

They must be cracking down on crime in Vicksburg.
Driving by China Buffet yesterday, my friends and I noticed four police cars parked in front of the restaurant, lights flashing. It turns out somebody stole an eggroll.
Quick! Fill out a missing eggroll report! Call the media! This may be just what we need to get the public's attention off of Michael Jackson!

34

Happy birthday to me.
My dog ran away.
Stupid dog.

Things You'll Never Hear a Daewoo Owner Say

I am one of the unfortunate people who happens to own a Daewoo. At least I can claim that I did not know that the business was preparing to declare bankruptcy mere months after my purchase. Here are some things you'll never hear a Daewoo owner say:

1. "Hey, baby, check out these wheels."

2. "I'm going to petition Heaven to let me take it with me."

3. "I'm planning on taking first place at Talladega again this year."

4. "They featured my car in Popular Mechanics again."

5. "I'm thinking of placing an ad for my car in Dupont Registry of Fine Autos."

6. "'Pimp My Ride' called. They want to showcase the 'Woo."

7. "Sure, I'll take you to school, honey!"

8. "You think when this car falls apart, we can get another one just like it?"

9. "What do you mean, 'the insurance company wants to total it?' It's still got at least ten thousand miles left on it!"

10. "Get that piece of crap out of my way!"